Since the esoteric trends came out of the underground and gained open access to the media and tools for online promotion of themselves in the service markets, the number of people who identify themselves as one or another esoteric community has increased manifold. Now it is very difficult not to even accidentally stumble upon certain content related to astrology, magic, mysticism or mantics. Wandering on the Internet, you can get the impression that everyone has already mastered astral projections, are able to qualitatively perform regressions in past incarnations, and are actively engaged in esoteric education. I have been studying esotericism since 1994, but after reading this kind of texts I begin to feel worthless and pitiful against the background of the vigorous activity of many esotericists.
I know from therapeutic experience that these are rather reactions of projective identification. My feelings have absolutely nothing to do with my professional self-esteem. This is a reaction that inevitably occurs when faced with someone’s grandeur. The pole of worthlessness in such contacts is most often evacuated to the interlocutor. And then the question involuntarily comes to mind: why is there so much narcissism in the esoteric environment?
Narcissism is not a dirty word at all. In every person’s becoming, this is an absolutely necessary developmental stage when, as a child, we desperately need the positive reflection of significant adults in order to form our own selves. And then the child who bears his mom to show his drawings, who asks dad to watch him jump over the bench, who constantly gets into the dialogue of adults, evokes positive emotion. We’ve all done that. There is no other way. Of course, in such a vulnerable period, each person gets his own experience, and not always pleasant, which can result in narcissistic trauma. And then, in adulthood, a person continues to unsuccessfully solve his narcissistic problem, only it does not cause such affection as in childhood.
Narcissism is usually divided into healthy and malignant. When people realize something that comes from their personal needs, they are good at it, and receive many positive assessments that are naturally built into their personalities. Their personalities are, in general, formed. In malignant narcissism, a different process occurs. The child was not adequately reflected in childhood, was not taught to feel his desires and needs, forcing him to serve only the desires of adults. If they were praised, it was only for what was valuable to the parents, and not to the child himself. Growing up, such a person never learns to act out of personal needs. And when the needs are alien, no matter how much you water them with someone else’s admiration, compliments and millions of likes, the inner emptiness does not decrease by a millimeter.
Returning to the topic of esoteric communities, it is necessary to make a reservation that in this case we are talking more about the professional identity of the esotericist. It, like any other identity, needs a positive and clear reflection in order to form and be a support for a person in his professional activity. And in this place that trap, which this essay is devoted to, is triggered.
How to get an accurate reflection and even more acceptance when there is such a variety and lack of rules around? Let’s take the following metaphor as an example. The wolf cub understands that he is a wolf, because he is surrounded by wolves, which he looks like, who live according to the laws of their pack, have clear boundaries of their territory, and constantly mirror the wolf in what makes him the same as other wolves. In the case of the esoteric, the situation is very similar to the tale of the “Ugly Duckling”. He is not like anyone. When he tries to find a community of his own kind, he is either rejected, or he leaves himself, because he feels that this is “not a true Roman”, and he is uncomfortable here. The situation is further complicated by the fact that around him there are all the same “ugly ducklings” like himself. They themselves cannot clearly articulate what distinguishes them from everyone else. They are definitely not ducklings, wolf cubs and not kittens, but rather some strange “uniquelings”.
As a result, a positive reflection never happens, a professional esoteric identity is never formed. It continues to be loose, full of holes, requiring constant reflection, because otherwise it cannot withstand. It’s also good if a person has a healthy and strong personality organization, and an esoteric identity is just a fragment that needs to be built into a common whole. But it often happens that at the level of the whole personality, a person experiences similar problem. And then professional identity begins to replace an ordinary human one, and the problem is even more aggravated. A person then cannot not only answer the question of what kind of esoteric he is and what he wants. In principle, he cannot answer a more important question: what kind of person he is and what he wants.
The esotericism of today is just the perfect greenhouse environment for narcissists of all kinds. Where else if not here you can feel omnipotent, omniscient, grandiose and important? Only now hunger is never satisfied, because you need not so much to feel important and needed as to be reflected adequately in the eyes of your own kind. And this does not happen, since there are no general rules and criteria for what is true and what is false in esotericism. These rules are different for everyone. There are no distinct flocks occupying distinct territories. When mirroring, you want to be judged according to your rules, and not according to someone else’s. Hence the temptation to unconsciously expand the criteria of one’s “goodness” to grandiose proportions in order to increase the chances of being accepted by at least a dozen people. Esotericism is transforming from a culture of heroes to a culture of superheroes.
I often see numerous groups on social networks that are dedicated to one or another esoteric topic. The same psychological dynamics often unfolds in them. The group is created from the need for intimacy with their own kind. It’s natural. But as the group grows, the members rarely manage to accomplish this task. Narcissistic presentation of oneself, one’s knowledge and achievements begin. And this is normal, since any group must go through the stage of competition. But only in esoteric groups it is more difficult, since what the competition is for has not been formulated. Moreover, there is no leader who would be delegated the role of “second” in such a competition. If competition is conducted in compliance with safety rules, it eventually turns into unitedness. If there is no second, then everything begins to resemble fights without rules, and people who already had narcissistic injuries often receive repeated re-traumatization and leave the group. As a consequence, roles and tasks in a group cannot be assigned. And as a result, the narcissistic phase loops forever, because now I doubly want to prove to everyone that “I am worth something in esotericism,” you just need a brighter biography and shoulder straps, where there are more stars.
The sad thing is that in reality esotericism and narcissism are so far from each other that it becomes alarming for the development of the entire sphere and its reputation in the wider society. Narcissism is often based on a false image or simulacrum rather than a true personality. And therefore, the image of an esotericist in the eyes of non-esotericists today looks like something ridiculous, distorted, theatrically pretentious and often psychiatrically disturbed. But we are not like that! OK, but what are we like?
And here again the same trap. To understand who we are, you need to unite and be reflected in each other’s eyes. The trend that I see is still positive. Active integration of psychotherapy and esotericism could help overcome this vicious circle. It’s not about integrating a scientific, psychological and esoteric picture of the world. The point is that regardless of the worldview, the psyche of any person acts according to the same laws and rules. And in order to solve the psychological complexity, it is appropriate to use a psychological tool.
Esotericism was not lucky in the next. In professional esoteric communities, it is impossible to psychologically complete what was missed during the period of general development. This can be done in physics, art, science or sports – in areas where the criteria and rules of the game are formulated. Then even if a person has personality problems of moderate severity, the professional community “pulls out” him, as it is well and clearly structured. The person has an external group support. In esotericism, personal fuzziness receives an additional dose of looseness and chaos due to the uncertainty of the community, and everything only gets worse.
I think the future of esoteric communities is quite predictable. Another 10-20 years, and no one will be surprised by the grandeur. There are simply not many means in human language to express superiority. And then clarity will come to the fore, and with them the ability to compare oneself with others. So far, esotericists ridicule the need for standardization, general ethical rules, understandable theories and proofs (but many secretly dream about this, since how long can you live in this chaos!). The esotericists themselves do not want; the client will force. When the need for a show and the admiration for special effects have passed, you will want quality, and with it the criteria for this quality will come. And this is again the need to get together, discuss and present yourself. And the point is not to formulate some general rules for everyone, but to learn to be honest with ourselves and really understand what exactly each of us is doing among all these esotericists, so diverse and dissimilar to each other. Your own ugly duckling must understand what he is and develop his own psychological culture before he finds his flock.
Henadzi Bialiauski